ME: mornin' mom
MOM: what time are you leaving today?
ME: 7:30am
MOM: are you happy with you friends?
ME: yup...they're great
MOM: do you have a boyfriend?
ME: no mom, i don't...i promise that when i do...i'd tell you *of course this may not necessarily be true*
MOM: what happened to you and joel? did you guys break up?
ME: no mom, nothing's happened between me and joel...we've never even DATED...he's been busy with school and work...and he's hooking back up with his childhood sweetheart, shari
MOM: ok...here's a banana for school...don't work too hard, ok?
ME: ok mom...thanks, i'll call you when i'm downtown...bye
MOM: bye

a conversation with my mother at 7:00am this morning...

i'd like to start off apologizing to ppl who may think i am mad at them. i'm not. VERY NOT. i'm quite happy to chill and be nuts and fun, but i AM human and i do have my mood swings. however, i've had a revelation and i'm quite mad at MYSELF...for chasing a dream...which i now understand will always BE a dream...i can't control this, so i'm not going to even try anymore. it's sad that my head can be so logical at times, but my heart gets in the way and messes things up...i need to do something about this damn heart...it's much too vulnerable...maybe i should get a plate in there...then i'd be less emotional and much more rational...

i love my friends and family...and you will always be my top priority. schoolwork and smcsu will be next. anything else will have to come after and i'm not going to dwell on this. oh don't get me wrong...i'm still going to be fun and nutty...

i hope i feel better tomorrow...till then...i'm never having an espresso again.