Ontario University Life by Nauman Abbasi:
Okay, so the summer has ended and school is about to start again soon. Well, you've probably gotten together with old friends and have probably noticed things about each of them since they attend other schools. This is what you may have noticed:

UofT St.George:
After being at a school with so many people at it, your friend lacks individuality and has come back as a robot. They may address themselves by their student number instead of their name and may talk in a monotone voice.

UofT Erindale:
Your friend talks in a new language - Punjabi - after being around so many South Asian people for too long. They also talk about how the Toronto Argonauts football team practices at Erindale but fail to realise how bad the Argonauts are.

UofT Scarborough:
Your friend constantly talks about how they've got many girlfriends or boyfriends there and how they're 'keeping it real' because of the gangster influence there. What they fail to tell you is that they're school is actually a local nightclub.

Ryerson:
Your friend constantly reminds you that its a 'university' and not a college and reminds you that its among the top in Engineering. What they fail to tell you is that it borders the Gay/Lesbian area of Toronto and has homeless bums harassing students.

Queens:
Your friend was once a proud member of an ethnic group but has comeback acting like a Gino, blasting techno beats. He or she may constantly talk about Kingston being 'the place to be' and talk about Queens' medical program being among the best. They fail to realise its Kingston and no one cares.

McMaster:
Just like Queens, your friend will talk about it being 'the place to be' and talk about McMaster having its own nuclear reactor. However,they fail to mention that its nuclear reactor is one atomic collision away from causing another Chernoble.

Windsor:
Your friend will talk about Windsor attracting some of the best
students regardless that the University somehow felt the need to run infomercials to promote itself. They fail to mention that the school harasses prospective students to choose Windsor, often begging students in their offers.

Lakehead:
Your friend couldn't come back home during reading week because by the time he/she made it all the way home, they'd have to start heading back up. They talk about never going back again to Lakehead and ponder working at an automotive plant for the remainder of their lives since a degree from Lakehead means nothing.

Ottawa:
Your friend will stick up for their school where possible but
secretly tell you that they only came to Ottawa after they were rejected by their first, second, third and fourth choices. May talk about how Ottawa is just a smaller, more 'governed' version of
Toronto.

Western:
Your friend will come back home and talk about how great the social life is at Western. However, they won't recall a thing about school and will wonder what you're talking about when you mention the word 'integral' to them. They may think its a bar on campus.

Waterloo:
Being the top school in Canada, Waterloo students are smug and arrogant believing that they are the best around. They fail to mention that the library was designed by Waterloo students and that its sinking into the ground after the students forgot to account for the weight of the books in the library. Way to go!

Guelph:
Your friend was originally planning to be a veternarian or go intoenvironmental sciences. Somehow, they're now studying Business. Wentto Guelph for the great guy-girl ratio but came back angry after learning that all the women still have boyfriends back home.

York:
Your friend is trying to switch to a different school. Enough said.