i miss my life-sci friends...i ran into mimi today...her hair looks awesome! i felt so bad that i was rushing off to class, but i was...i never see ava anymore...we were sooooo tight last year...we had mostly the same classes, and i'd pick her up at her st. george apartment in the morning and we'd walk to class together...she helped me start working out and think more about my health...i see robert and winsion and adele at the library sometimes, but it's rare...we're soooo busy...christian, edward and jay are in my botany class but i feel as if i don't have any classes with them...GABS! where are you? i'm so scared that i might pass you on the street but not know it...even worse...NOT passing you on the street...i remember you used my ID card all the time...we looked alike! john, tom, dominic, mark pahuta and nasser...we used to study in those private rooms at kelly on the 2nd floor...that was sooo funny that i found you guys there two weeks ago! some habits die hard! remember robarts 5th floor? "studying"? i don't think so..."rob...i know NOTHING for this exam! teach me EVERYTHING in TWO HOURS! GO!!!" ahahahaa...and then i wondered why everyone did well, cept for me...except that jay knows to come ask me questions these days...

karina almost made me cry today...she brought up the three of us chilling with tanaka in the student council...we had like 5 spares a day, and we spent soooo much time in there that valarie kept getting mad at us and saying "guys...we have a mtg...and you're not part of council...so you gotta go" bitch...and then we'd go chill in our dingy cafeteria with awesome chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon buns and french fries...when i used to eat so much more and NOT workout...thanx for the recap, fool! (you know who you are)

and satchmo! tanaka trying to call maureen but she wouldn't answer her name till she called satchmo and that's her nickname whether she likes it or not...best friends from day 1 of gr. 9...till the end...i can't wait till we go up to queens...maija who i haven't seen since commencement last august, tanaka i haven't seen since we last went shopping at yorkdale....summer?!?!?! faye since her birthday at movenpick (even when we went to pick up her camera at her house in the middle of the night....AND i remembered where she lived even tho i'd only been to her place ONCE!) and karina?!?!? frosh week?!?!?!

karen lam...we're supposed to meet up and study saturday afternoons...but i'm quickly coming to this revelation that it's NOT happening...you're WAY too busy with forensics, and i'm WAY too busy period. i think i need to cry...but i have no tears...i want to talk to someone...but who's the right person? i'm finding it much too difficult to keep up with life right now...it's going much too fast...i'm falling behind...someone catch me please...

THE "QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS"

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn`t know and may not like.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren`t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.

You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you cry and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

The stupid ones plateau, the smart ones rise. You get your heartbroken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can`t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better.

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it and we are all in this together. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

We are friends, and in 10 years we will be friends who have figured out where we fit in in this world. If people expect sincerity from others, they should be sincere, otherwise do not expect anything at all. Having heart to heart conversations is being real. Wish you and myself all the best of luck. Put unhappiness aside and go with the flow..*