Down to the earth I fell,
With dripping wings. Heavy things won't fly.
And the sky might catch on fire.
And burn the axis of the world, that's why
I prefer a sunless sky, to the glittering and
stinging in my eyes.

Oh I feel so light.
This is all I want to feel tonight.
Oh I feel so light.
Tonight and the rest of my life.

Gleaming in the dark sea,
I'm as light as air
Floating there breathlessly.
When the dream dissolves I open up my eyes,
I realize that everything is shoreless sea.
Weightlessness is passing over me.

Nina Gordon - Tonight and the rest of my life

i love love LOVE rain. especially when it's a nice warm sprinkly rain. the type of rain that when it falls on your head, it makes a tickly sensation that causes you to laugh out loud.

i walked home in the rain.

rain is like heaven opening up and expressing it's sadness, the sadness that i cannot express myself.

mom was cleaning out the cedar closet when i got home. she was pulling all of grandma's trunks out and taking out all the stuff in them. our basement hallway looked like a tornado had run through it's course. my aunt and uncle are now here going through her stuff, and just the smell of the cedar reminds me of my grandma. it's hard because most of the time, i am ok. life goes on. but once in a while, something will trigger bittersweet memories (such as the smell of the cedar, or an old picture of her) and then for tinest moment, i am swept away by a wave of sadness. it's like when i watch a movie (like snow cake), and the emotions of the movie are just so incredible that i find myself wiping the tears from my eyes.

i am such a sap. i love movies that make me cry. it reassures me that i AM human, and that i DO have emotions. (contrary to popular belief...)

in other lighter and happier news:
happy happy birthday fayewood! we had an amazing time saturday night. yuk yuk's could have been better, but hey, at least we had ron, and HE was funny without making stupid perverted guy jokes. tanaka and alanna, you guys missed out on a good time! we stopped off at steve and jacob's condo-warming party which was conveniently 2 mins away from yuk yuk's and GOT THE PARTE STARTED!!! pictures from that night will be posted soon.

this weekend was phenomenal. i ran into ray and his girlfriend, pauline, while i was volunteering at the film fest at ryerson. it's like university flashbacks or something because i had run into ian friday night when i was at the rom with liz. sometimes i wonder that the world isn't smaller. it's kind of cool to know that toronto is my new york, and i am almost literally, carrie.

yay, grey's anatomy is back thursday! very super excited.