So I was called to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Naturally, I accepted. However, this has taken a whole chunk of my weekend to do homework. The weekend that I really needed because my seminar is this thursday, and the trip to Kingston/Ottawa is this friday.

On the bright side, there was a flood at the new Roehampton building friday evening so the past two days have been quite slow. Which has lent me pleeenty of time to work on school work. So really, it has all worked out quite nicely. Still, I'm slightly nervous about the week to come. I cannot wait until it is over.

The weather is making me depressed. The motivation is dragging on the ground, and school has suddenly has suddenly become a huge weight to carry. There's literally ONE MORE MONTH left before it's allllllllll over...but I feel like everything has just gone into slow motion.

ARGH!!! It's already daylight savings time!!!! Of all days to go out to a club (with Matt and Shelley, no less), it had to be yesterday, when we were losing an hour of sleep!

Honestly, it gets tiresome going out all the time. And march has been ABSOLUTELY no exception. How many birthdays have I celebrated or gone to already? Alot of them I would never have even known about if not for facebook!

Yesterday was Mich's birthday dinner at Fred's Not Here. Matt, Tony, Sange and I arrived fashionably late, but luckily so did everyone else. I love Mich's dinners and friends. It's so laid back and fun. No one is really awkward, and as usual, I like to zoom in on the quietest people at the table. hahaha. So the joint present the four of us pitched in for b-day girl? Some wii game. I have no idea what it is. but hey, if she's excited about it, then I'm allllllllll for it! ;p

The club part was disappointing. My bestest friend in the whole wide world was invited to a b-day party (surprise surprise!!) So considering she rarely goes out, let alone goes to clubs anymore, Matty and I join in as sidekicks (but I know the b-day boy too.) We went to C-Lounge which apparently is the club to go. Beautiful decor but awful choice in music. All of it was dance remixes! We stayed until almost 2am in the vain hopes that the DJ would play something good. The characters at the club were not very attractive either. And then, 2am comes around and suddenly it's 3am.

AND, I still have so much homework to do. But that's not stopping me from going skiing today. Suffer the consequences tomorrow.

So the moral of this story? Go to good clubs to have a good dancing night. Otherwise, start up your own dance party in the car.

so second term is moving along quite nicely. It seems that a lot of the work this term is done independently, or if it is team work, it is one whole entire project instead of a lot of little ones. i don't generally think about this, but someone asked me the other day, if i wonder about who i will keep in touch with after the program is finished. well, i don't really need to wonder about this because i have a pretty good idea who those people are. What I don't understand is why everyone cares about that. If you want to stay in touch, then do it. If not, it's very easy to let go.
I suppose it is a little sad to know that within two months, these people that i have grown very close with will be on their separate ways. But thus is life, we move on and keep going.
I have plans, they change all the time, but at least i have a plan.

Eagle in the dark
Feathers in the pages
Monkeys in my heart
Rattling their cages
Found a way to pooooop
Another ghost to follow
Said its only up to you
It’s the hardest pill to swallow

You never get to choose
You live on what they send you
You know the kind of use
Things you love will get you
One foot in the grave
One foot in the shower
There’s never time to save
You’re paying by the hour

And that’s just the way it goes
Falling awake
And that’s just the way it goes

Slipping through the bars
Aware of the danger
Of riding in the cars
Taking candy from strangers
You’re never out of hand
Never out of pocket
Super sonic man
Do you want to buy a rocket

Well that’s just the way it goes
Falling awake
Falling awake
And that’s just the way it goes
Falling awake
Falling awake

Eagle in the dark
Feathers in the pages
Monkeys in my heart
Are rattling their cages
I could learn to play the game
Learn to run the hustle
If I only had the brains
The money or the muscle

- Gary Jules, Falling Awake

---

Cristina: There's a club. The "Dead Dads" club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize.. but until you feel that loss- My dad died when I was nine. George, I'm really sorry you had to join the club.

George: I. [pause] I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't.

Cristina: Yeah, that never really changes.

This is for tee. I'm so sorry you had to join this club.

Even though this was one of the hardest grey's episodes to watch, I had to watch it again. I cannot concentrate on school, on anything really. I'm so distracted.

I'm not a part of this club, yet I'm constantly aware of how quickly a person you love can be taken away at a moment's notice. I'm not a part of this club, but I am part of another. It is almost six months later. The pain doesn't stop. It may dull, but the pain doesn't go away. On the outside I may look strong. Perhaps I forget for a moment, but there are always little subtle signs that remind me again. I don't mind, I like to remember the good times.

But the pain always remains.

i just realized that it has been quite some time since my last post. It's crazy how fast time flies sometimes.

classes at seneca started two weeks ago. the first week was filled with alot of awkward and tense filled moments because we were choosing our new groups. the problem lay in the fact that since first term, everyone now has a clear idea of who they want to work with...but most of all, who they do NOT want to work with. this created a lot of tension because no one wanted to work with certain people. but how do you avoid this without creating any drama? or even worse, what do you do when you ARE stuck in a group with so called classmate?

i have to say that i'm pretty happy with my loot. haha. to top it off, our class has received three new belgium girls!!! at the risk of sounding like a complainer, i was hoping for some belgium GUYS. seriously, the last thing we needed was more chicks. hahaha.

also, last weekend i went to get a haircut. let me take this opportunity to explain how stressful getting a haircut can be. i have always had very long hair. when i was little, i was a ballerina. and ballerina's always had long hair which they wound into buns on the top of the heads. when i stopped taking ballet lessons, i went and chopped half my hair, up to the middle of my back. ever since then, the shortest haircut i have had was up to my shoulders. the ordeal i went through with THAT particular haircut involved a razer blade with a chinese hairdresser. now, i avoid chinese hair salons like the plague.

the last couple times i have gone to evoke hairsalon. they are amazing. but both those times, my father would ask me "you went to get a haircut so that your hair looks exactly the same?"

so this time i started asking around for recommendations. and this time, i have received one of the best cuts ever. i now have side bangs that ACTUALLY compliment my face. i feel like i have had them forever! i must admit that it feels weird to have short hair again, but at least this time i can put it in a pony tail and not have it look like a rat-tail!

i also went to the symphony twice this week for mozart's 251st birthday. i went with mich on wednesday and we shared a two for one meal at marcel's, a lovely french restaurant. then yesterday i went with kristen...a bbtea meal before, and then through jake's recommendation, jeremiah bullfrog's afterwards. good times!

the bulk of my time is focusing on school, work, family and occasionally...friends. haha. that's a big lie. friends are so important to me too. it's what makes the world go round...

what a small small world...

it never fails to surprise me how many people i know who know one another. just today, i found out that my co-worker, carissa, knows a lot of my smc friends. we called up manny and he was soooo surprised!

and this is all thanks to facebook. if it wasn't for this phenomenal tool, i would never have known! this website has connected me with so many people that i have not spoken to in years!

i have found friends from highschool, from middle school, ELEMENTARY school (oh soloman!)...and EVEN old math tutorial classes!!! (how embarrassing!)

it's nice to find out what everyone is doing, even though it is a little creepy with the whole big brother-esque "news feed." hahaha.

c'est la vie!

today's post is about marriage.

congrats to mary ellen and terence douglas!

how much do i despise boxing day shopping? after spending christmas at niagara falls, we stopped by the outlet mall before heading home. of course, no asian family can pass up shopping (at ANY time might i add), we HAD to peek into square one.

i would like to take this opportunity to point out that i have not gone shopping at square one since forever. so the worst way to reintroduce myself to a fabulous shopping mall is to go in during boxing day. the AMOUNT of people that congregates at malls is ridiculous. the food court was so jam packed full of people that there were literally people standing in the middle just eating. as soon as a table of people stand up to leave, there are people literally putting down trays to mark their territory (my mom is really good at doing that.)

i love shopping.

but shopping on boxing day scares me. especially since i bought these beautiful boots on christmas eve (yes you can laugh now, i DID go shopping on christmas eve too) and i was so paranoid that people would be stepping on them. people do that when they are on crazy rampaged filled kicks at the mall.

seriously, how can i enjoy shopping (which takes time if you do it properly) when there are people pushing and shoving each other all over the place?

nevertheless, i still managed to get a couple of goodies. although, my favorite purchase is the new boots. haha.

christmas in niagara is overrated. especially when there is no snow. but ames and i did get stuck in the women's washroom after a woman opened the door without washing her hands. ew.

something bit me on the arm and it's really super itchy right now. it can't be a mosquito can it? yikes!

so i am leaving for niagara falls for christmas in a couple of hours. i figure that i'd take this opportunity to wish everyone a MERRY XMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! at this time.

i've done so much this holiday: i've met alot of ames' friends via her little housegathering party; celebrated georges' birthday (last min no doubt) at the red room; made an appearance at jake and steve's condo party where i successfully avoided getting wasted; had brunch with the fisherville boys at 'bonjour brioche'; helped set up jake and orlando helman (sorry, ALICIA, hahaha) on facebook; SURVIVED 'the pursuit of happyness' with daner and meggers; met up with my pr girls and david for drinks at the city grill; had an abbey reunion at spring rolls; WORKED for minto (thereby earning some cash, yay!); attended cat's belly dancing recital; went to see the new york rockette's at the hummingbird center; went to a champagne tasting with larissa; had lunch at the irish embassy with my bro, carl; went to a pilates class with mich...THAT was killer!

on my trip, i hope to finish the longest scarf ever, as well as the book 'reading lolita in tehran.' with so much activity, i haven't had enough time to just sit and watch tv. oops. ;p

the holidays are here!

i have officially been off school for a week now. i was originally faced with a panic attack because i didn't know what to do with all this free time. but i have quickly and easily slipped into relax mode. ok, obviously 6:45am isn't "relax" per say, but i am a morning person so give me a break!

just a quick recap on the past couple of weeks:
- rita came in to town from vancouver about three weeks ago. we had a little soiree at insomnia where i also saw carlo, colin, jennie k, ana p, mike allemano....and the hart house towel boy! granted, he's probably not the towel boy anymore, but i remember when i used to go to the gym almost everyday, he'd be the guy i see in the morning (what a nice face to see in the morning!)

- carlo was a super sweetie because i had actually overslept and almost missed the evening, but he woke me up and drove me there and back too! i *heart* carlo! he's also gone in for laser eye surgery since then. i should find out how that went...

- went to smc's annual musical, this year being "little shop of horrors." it was the best show they have put on since "blood brothers." "chess" was good too, but this musical was phenomenal! the singers were all so incredible (of course, we had the three girlies, jill, thanya and shannon!) and the actors were just so talented. matt and i were throughly impressed! we even ran into kirsten and lisa! i have seen those two girls since we graduated!

- there was the minto christmas party which caused me so much anxiety. this party took place the weekend before a huge class project was due. i couldn't even really enjoy myself at the party because i was working the "silent auction." the auction was a huge success, there were so many leafs and raptors tickets. and alot of the companies had donated ipods and those were out like hotcakes! minto even supplied fully paid limos to take us home after the party. i wish i had taken advantage of that! but some of the younger kids wanted to hit a pub called the "foggy dew" so we went over there afterwards where i finally calmed down with a double shot of my usual.

- CCMaaers had several excursions over our crazy time. one night almost everyone signed up to take an etiquette class at the u of t faculty club, and most of learned that we have very bad etiquette. haha. i think the most important lesson i learned from that class is that the bread plate is on the left and the water glass is on the right. ;p that was also the memorable night where i inadvertantly saw ryan flashing us. i've since recovered (i think.) last weekend, we also had two parties: a potluck at esther's on thurdsay, and a beautiful dinner at "pur superclub" on saturday. photos from those events can be seen here thanks to audrey, ashleigh, sonia and kristen.

- i have since taken up knitting (i'm knitting carmi a scarf, as per request) and have started to watch more tv movies (yay movie network!) along with seeing a lot of people i haven't seen in awhile (such as mel and larissa), i plan on hitting up an indigo and having a geeky day out just reading books. ha! ;p

remember when i said hell week was done? it was all lies. lies.

it hasn't stopped. it's been continual, and even worse, there's still over a week and a half left to go. i'm not sure i'm going to make it.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, and never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid. She watched chick flicks, never football, didnt have to wear lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, burped, swore, and farted all the time. THE END

HELL WEEK is DONE!!!!!

sleeping beauty ballet tomorrow, ana francisco's birthday saturday and lots of homework catching up!

best of all? grey's anatomy is on tonight! yay!

happy happy happy!

i don't even really know how to begin this post. i have so many thoughts and ideas that i want to spew out so i'm just going to jump right in.

school is brutal.

ok, let's explain. first of all, i'm loving the program. it's a lot of hard work, sweat and blood. i already question the subjectiveness of some of the professor's grading schemes. it is very interesting to see how the marks are awarded, it seems like sometimes they are not really based a student's capability, but perhaps their personality. there is one student who really knows how to work. they go around to all the profs after class and while using different tactics to play up their weaknesses, are managing to get very good marks for doing nothing. incredible, just incredible.

second of all, this is a really intense and intimate program. with only 27 students in the class, we've all started to get to know each other very well. we're lucky in that we all get along really well. however, i'm starting to be able to read signs from people: when they are in a good mood, when they're in a bad mood. i can also recognize people's strengths and weaknesses. i suppose the key thing is to work with them especially since the program focuses on group work. everything is group work. i have group work coming out of my ears.

the only though, is that group work is only effective if everyone on the team contributes and works together. at ryerson i was lucky enough to get quite the power group. here, i have pretty much figured out what type of worker each person is. if the work mentality clashes, it can get pretty hairy.

thirdly, november is a bitch. a lot of presentations are coming up. in fact, i have 3 next week. yes, it's crazy, but i also knew it was coming up and had planned in advance how i was going to go abouts getting them done. but not everyone knows how to plan properly. some of my classmates are starting to get really stressed out and overwhelmed. i feel it too. the heat is on.

it doesn't help that the two jobs i had quit have asked me to come in randomly in november to help out. i have now ended up working 5 days a week for the next 3 weeks. this sucks soooo much.

so of course the only i can think of doing is to blog. but it helps. i can vent a little and then move on.

so i'm moving on...

happy birthday sandra and jill!

due to the excessive amounts of partying that i knew would ensue, i took an extra long nap this afternoon and have since come back from a night of all-you-can-eat korean bbq with sange, tony, christian, michelle, wen san, chris, and vivienne. then i went downtown to pravda for dear jill's birthday!

a night to remember...

jocelyn in the girl's bathroom with her head in the toilet that did not flush. jill in the boy's bathroom with her head in the toilet in the only stall. justin was standing in the middle of the hallway taking pictures of both his sister puking. hahahaha. it was just all so random! and boys and girls, this is why we don't go drinking at vodka bars!

in other housekeeping news: friday night i went to see "wicked" with my family. great musical with a very political storyline and catchy tunes. i liked how it explained how the scarecrow, lion and tin man came about, and why the wizard left in a balloon. what i didn't like about it was that it made glinda the good witch seem like a ditz. oh well, it was a nice family bonding session anyway.

reading week is upon us CCMers. yippee!

oh wow, time is just zipping by so quickly!

school has overtaken once again. interestingly enough, even though the work load is crazy busy (with 6 classes), i have not yet felt overwhelmed to the point of breaking down. not like when i was at u of t.

college is just a completely different experience than university. i've noticed that the university students seem to have a different work ethic and vibe then the non-uni students. it is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is definitely noted. i do not know if it is simply because i enjoy this program a lot, or if my new practice of not procrastinating has made a difference. *shrugs* either way, so far school is going well.

mind you, i have also never had so little sleep in my life.

i'm a princess when it comes to needing sleep *please, leave the snickering aside!* i am the first to admit that without a good 8-9 hr restful evening, i am not my perfectly normal, cheery, self. or so i thought. for the past month, i have been getting on average 5.5 hrs of sleep a night. that is a good 2.5 hrs less then what i would prefer! surprisingly, i am not that much more crankier...granted i am a LEEEETLE bit more tired, but it hasn't really affected how productive i am. no seriously, i am very surprised by this! what this means to me is that i never really needed those extra hours of sleep. buuut, reading week is coming up, and unless i am working those days next week, i plan on catching up on some zzz's! right, and of course, some readings. ;p

tonight at 8pm on CBC, the jobloft boys will be on the tv show Dragon's Den. Cat and I are going to hang out with them and celebrate! yay!

did anyone else know that the blackberry is a canadian-made product by a company called "Research In Motion"?

We had a class discussion on the national inferiority complex and why Canada has to fly in under the radar. For example, if it was known right away that the blackberry was canadian, would it have been as popular as it is now? Very few corporate personnel can live without a blackberry so that nationalism can come out now.

Interesting.

Yesterday's pre-thanksgiving dinner with CCM was a huge success! A whole bunch of us went to st. lawrence market and bought a nice turkey. After stopping off at the liquor store, we went back to Mel's condo and prepared it. While waiting for the turkey, Em and I prepared the stuffing and mashed potatoes. We also made garlic bread so we could tide the hunger. Mel made blue lagoons and that made me really buzzed and happy. Since the the turkey takes some time to cook, we watched "Down with Love" and just sat around and chatted.

I had to leave to go to the symphony with Michelle. The symphony was great but I was tired and had to really fight to keep from dozing (I kept dozing!) Since turkey was not ready when I left, the girls left me a plate of food for when I got back. Turkey turned out AMAZING. There was also sweet yams, beans, and cranberry sauce. Yum. The only problem was, I could not eat any dessert afterwards. That is alright, I had lots of little sugared donuts in the morning! ;p

The best part? No one got sick! hahaha

i have a confession to make (some people know this already):

i really enjoy running to music videos in the mornings.

they have a really nice beat going and some of them are really interesting. i like to keep on top of new popular music with much mega hits, and my favorite types are the ones that address social issues that are occuring in the world.

one that has made a big impact on me recently is hedley's gunnin'. their music video addresses one of my biggest concerns: society's perception of body image.

in their video, that have the lead singer in a relationship with a beautiful girl who believes that she is too fat. it is quite unfortunate because the girl is in reality, quite tiny. this is what makes me so upset, the fact that society encourages a norm that is less then normal. it has made most people (both girls and boys) lose sight of reality. when is thin too thin? no one knows anymore.

look at nicole ritchie. that is too thin. but what of beyonce, hilary duff, amanda bynes? why is no one calling them out? but on the other hand, if they were to gain weight, people would notice and make comments. hey, i'm no saint. i'll be the first to admit that i've said things to my friends in passing. but how is that society accepts this?

something to think about...

parte parte at 101 clinton last night!! jerome invited me, wongie and liz over to his house to have a little potluck party before his housemates (casey and kyle) had a houseparty in the evening. so it was a weird mesh of eating a lot of fried foods and then the alcohol and people coming...

the best part about last night:
jerome standing in the middle of his kitchen cooking for the three of us girls. that is the way life is supposed to be. none of this females cooking for males deal. jerome cooked fried plantains and fried venezuelan sandwiches with cheese and ham. i brought the potato salad, liz made a little bread/brie/apple/topping kind of appetizer, and wongie brought vegan brownies! so delicious and soooooo filling!

melanie's brother, alan popped by just as he made it in from italy. that was amusing as mel and i are forever trying to meet up but not making it. st. mike's iron man, jason, was also there, but i wasn't able to speak to him long because liz and i had just popped back into to use the facilities. haha. we had left the party at midnight because wongie got pretty drunk. not a bad drunk, but she definitely had the asian alcohol face! we walked her home and then caught a cab to go to "the village idiot" to see lukas and his buddies. oh lukas, i had been dying to meet him since liz started dating him back in april. very good looking, down-to-earth kind of guy. completely appropriate for her. stamp of approval. hahaha.

what a night! i didn't get home until 2:30am, yet here i am at 8:30am just popping around.

on thursday morning i received a very last minute invite to baldwin village for some all-you-can-eat-sushi that evening for matthew and joan's going away party. that is right. the two of them are leaving to teach in korea for a year next week! last time i spoke with matt (which was quite some time ago...sometime say, january?) he had mentioned that he would be going abroad, but i guess i just forgot about it. and knowing matt, he does send out last minute invites. but i was happy that i happened to be free and went freely and happily to see him off.

again, a lot of st. mike's engineers (because, naturally, matt would be from st. mikes) and desmond cole came to visit.

who is desmond cole? if you live in the spadina-trinity area, i suggest you check him out. i am particularly impressed with him because he was the one who won city idol for this role. i actually knew another guy, ron, who was running for this job, but desmond got it! so don't forget to vote on november 13!

now i should get back to doing some school work as tonight is "nuit blanche" in the city and i plan on seeing some more toronto night-time and their galleries. hahaha.