remember when i said hell week was done? it was all lies. lies.

it hasn't stopped. it's been continual, and even worse, there's still over a week and a half left to go. i'm not sure i'm going to make it.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased... did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, and never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid. She watched chick flicks, never football, didnt have to wear lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, burped, swore, and farted all the time. THE END

HELL WEEK is DONE!!!!!

sleeping beauty ballet tomorrow, ana francisco's birthday saturday and lots of homework catching up!

best of all? grey's anatomy is on tonight! yay!

happy happy happy!

i don't even really know how to begin this post. i have so many thoughts and ideas that i want to spew out so i'm just going to jump right in.

school is brutal.

ok, let's explain. first of all, i'm loving the program. it's a lot of hard work, sweat and blood. i already question the subjectiveness of some of the professor's grading schemes. it is very interesting to see how the marks are awarded, it seems like sometimes they are not really based a student's capability, but perhaps their personality. there is one student who really knows how to work. they go around to all the profs after class and while using different tactics to play up their weaknesses, are managing to get very good marks for doing nothing. incredible, just incredible.

second of all, this is a really intense and intimate program. with only 27 students in the class, we've all started to get to know each other very well. we're lucky in that we all get along really well. however, i'm starting to be able to read signs from people: when they are in a good mood, when they're in a bad mood. i can also recognize people's strengths and weaknesses. i suppose the key thing is to work with them especially since the program focuses on group work. everything is group work. i have group work coming out of my ears.

the only though, is that group work is only effective if everyone on the team contributes and works together. at ryerson i was lucky enough to get quite the power group. here, i have pretty much figured out what type of worker each person is. if the work mentality clashes, it can get pretty hairy.

thirdly, november is a bitch. a lot of presentations are coming up. in fact, i have 3 next week. yes, it's crazy, but i also knew it was coming up and had planned in advance how i was going to go abouts getting them done. but not everyone knows how to plan properly. some of my classmates are starting to get really stressed out and overwhelmed. i feel it too. the heat is on.

it doesn't help that the two jobs i had quit have asked me to come in randomly in november to help out. i have now ended up working 5 days a week for the next 3 weeks. this sucks soooo much.

so of course the only i can think of doing is to blog. but it helps. i can vent a little and then move on.

so i'm moving on...

happy birthday sandra and jill!

due to the excessive amounts of partying that i knew would ensue, i took an extra long nap this afternoon and have since come back from a night of all-you-can-eat korean bbq with sange, tony, christian, michelle, wen san, chris, and vivienne. then i went downtown to pravda for dear jill's birthday!

a night to remember...

jocelyn in the girl's bathroom with her head in the toilet that did not flush. jill in the boy's bathroom with her head in the toilet in the only stall. justin was standing in the middle of the hallway taking pictures of both his sister puking. hahahaha. it was just all so random! and boys and girls, this is why we don't go drinking at vodka bars!

in other housekeeping news: friday night i went to see "wicked" with my family. great musical with a very political storyline and catchy tunes. i liked how it explained how the scarecrow, lion and tin man came about, and why the wizard left in a balloon. what i didn't like about it was that it made glinda the good witch seem like a ditz. oh well, it was a nice family bonding session anyway.

reading week is upon us CCMers. yippee!

oh wow, time is just zipping by so quickly!

school has overtaken once again. interestingly enough, even though the work load is crazy busy (with 6 classes), i have not yet felt overwhelmed to the point of breaking down. not like when i was at u of t.

college is just a completely different experience than university. i've noticed that the university students seem to have a different work ethic and vibe then the non-uni students. it is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is definitely noted. i do not know if it is simply because i enjoy this program a lot, or if my new practice of not procrastinating has made a difference. *shrugs* either way, so far school is going well.

mind you, i have also never had so little sleep in my life.

i'm a princess when it comes to needing sleep *please, leave the snickering aside!* i am the first to admit that without a good 8-9 hr restful evening, i am not my perfectly normal, cheery, self. or so i thought. for the past month, i have been getting on average 5.5 hrs of sleep a night. that is a good 2.5 hrs less then what i would prefer! surprisingly, i am not that much more crankier...granted i am a LEEEETLE bit more tired, but it hasn't really affected how productive i am. no seriously, i am very surprised by this! what this means to me is that i never really needed those extra hours of sleep. buuut, reading week is coming up, and unless i am working those days next week, i plan on catching up on some zzz's! right, and of course, some readings. ;p

tonight at 8pm on CBC, the jobloft boys will be on the tv show Dragon's Den. Cat and I are going to hang out with them and celebrate! yay!

did anyone else know that the blackberry is a canadian-made product by a company called "Research In Motion"?

We had a class discussion on the national inferiority complex and why Canada has to fly in under the radar. For example, if it was known right away that the blackberry was canadian, would it have been as popular as it is now? Very few corporate personnel can live without a blackberry so that nationalism can come out now.

Interesting.

Yesterday's pre-thanksgiving dinner with CCM was a huge success! A whole bunch of us went to st. lawrence market and bought a nice turkey. After stopping off at the liquor store, we went back to Mel's condo and prepared it. While waiting for the turkey, Em and I prepared the stuffing and mashed potatoes. We also made garlic bread so we could tide the hunger. Mel made blue lagoons and that made me really buzzed and happy. Since the the turkey takes some time to cook, we watched "Down with Love" and just sat around and chatted.

I had to leave to go to the symphony with Michelle. The symphony was great but I was tired and had to really fight to keep from dozing (I kept dozing!) Since turkey was not ready when I left, the girls left me a plate of food for when I got back. Turkey turned out AMAZING. There was also sweet yams, beans, and cranberry sauce. Yum. The only problem was, I could not eat any dessert afterwards. That is alright, I had lots of little sugared donuts in the morning! ;p

The best part? No one got sick! hahaha

i have a confession to make (some people know this already):

i really enjoy running to music videos in the mornings.

they have a really nice beat going and some of them are really interesting. i like to keep on top of new popular music with much mega hits, and my favorite types are the ones that address social issues that are occuring in the world.

one that has made a big impact on me recently is hedley's gunnin'. their music video addresses one of my biggest concerns: society's perception of body image.

in their video, that have the lead singer in a relationship with a beautiful girl who believes that she is too fat. it is quite unfortunate because the girl is in reality, quite tiny. this is what makes me so upset, the fact that society encourages a norm that is less then normal. it has made most people (both girls and boys) lose sight of reality. when is thin too thin? no one knows anymore.

look at nicole ritchie. that is too thin. but what of beyonce, hilary duff, amanda bynes? why is no one calling them out? but on the other hand, if they were to gain weight, people would notice and make comments. hey, i'm no saint. i'll be the first to admit that i've said things to my friends in passing. but how is that society accepts this?

something to think about...

parte parte at 101 clinton last night!! jerome invited me, wongie and liz over to his house to have a little potluck party before his housemates (casey and kyle) had a houseparty in the evening. so it was a weird mesh of eating a lot of fried foods and then the alcohol and people coming...

the best part about last night:
jerome standing in the middle of his kitchen cooking for the three of us girls. that is the way life is supposed to be. none of this females cooking for males deal. jerome cooked fried plantains and fried venezuelan sandwiches with cheese and ham. i brought the potato salad, liz made a little bread/brie/apple/topping kind of appetizer, and wongie brought vegan brownies! so delicious and soooooo filling!

melanie's brother, alan popped by just as he made it in from italy. that was amusing as mel and i are forever trying to meet up but not making it. st. mike's iron man, jason, was also there, but i wasn't able to speak to him long because liz and i had just popped back into to use the facilities. haha. we had left the party at midnight because wongie got pretty drunk. not a bad drunk, but she definitely had the asian alcohol face! we walked her home and then caught a cab to go to "the village idiot" to see lukas and his buddies. oh lukas, i had been dying to meet him since liz started dating him back in april. very good looking, down-to-earth kind of guy. completely appropriate for her. stamp of approval. hahaha.

what a night! i didn't get home until 2:30am, yet here i am at 8:30am just popping around.

on thursday morning i received a very last minute invite to baldwin village for some all-you-can-eat-sushi that evening for matthew and joan's going away party. that is right. the two of them are leaving to teach in korea for a year next week! last time i spoke with matt (which was quite some time ago...sometime say, january?) he had mentioned that he would be going abroad, but i guess i just forgot about it. and knowing matt, he does send out last minute invites. but i was happy that i happened to be free and went freely and happily to see him off.

again, a lot of st. mike's engineers (because, naturally, matt would be from st. mikes) and desmond cole came to visit.

who is desmond cole? if you live in the spadina-trinity area, i suggest you check him out. i am particularly impressed with him because he was the one who won city idol for this role. i actually knew another guy, ron, who was running for this job, but desmond got it! so don't forget to vote on november 13!

now i should get back to doing some school work as tonight is "nuit blanche" in the city and i plan on seeing some more toronto night-time and their galleries. hahaha.

CALLIE: Four years of high school, four years of college, four years of med school. By the time we graduate we're in our late 20s and we've never done anything except go to school and think about science. Time stops. We're socially retarded. Ha, I mean, look at me, I'm in love with a guy who won't say he loves me back and here I am, in his kitchen, just hoping he comes home and notices me. I'm that girl, who sits in the back of the class and eats her hair. And Meredith, she's 17 years old, we're all 17 years old. This is high school with scalpels, Finn.

--

MEREDITH: "Finn-"
FINN: "I said we weren't exclusive. Thats all I wanted to say... Oh, and this: I know you think you're scary and damaged. It makes you think you don't deserve good things, but you do. And Derek, he's bad for you. But me, I'm a good thing. And if this is a race, if there is a ring, my hat is in.

--

CRISTINA: "He has sex with you and he's standing there all McGuilty and all he has to say is, 'What does this mean?'"

--

CALLIE: "Relax. I'm not gonna bring it up, you and McDreamy and the sex. I'm not that person."
MEREDITH: "Thank you."

--

IZZIE: "How did this happen? Why did we end up here? Why am I alone? Where's Denny?"
MEREDITH: "You're not alone, Izz."

--

ADDISON: "Derek, Derek, Derek, you can't do this, Derek. Derek, we have to, we have to talk about this. You have to give me a chance to explain. What are you doing? What are you doing with my clothes, Derek?! It was one time. I know that's what people say. I know that is what always gets said. It's just I don't even know how it happened, I don't know what I was thinking. It was just he was just here, it was just-"
DEREK: "You screw my best friend and all you have to say is, 'He was just here?'

--

CRISTINA: "What is wrong with you?"
MEREDITH: "Everything with me is fine, it's Izzie we're worried about."
CRISTINA: "Oh, what did you do?"
MEREDITH: "Denny died. Burke got shot. Let's just have a little perspective and realize that what I did was a tiny, slightly small..."
CRISTINA: "Oh, whatever, just spit it out!"
MEREDITH: "I lost my panties, last night."

--

jordan asked me very nicely to help him increase readership in his restaurant reviews. Bon appetit!

i'd post more but i unintentionally worked all day today and now am very tired, and am missing shelley.

ctv made a huge boo-boo. they played episode 2 of grey's anatomy on thursday night. i don't mind, it was all good because now i have watched BOTH episodes! i am proud to say that i know who meredith chooses! and bailey, i love that woman. i cried for almost every scene she was in. i'd talk more about it, but i don't want to spill the beans on next week's episode. sooooo...i'll just giggle to myself.

i went shopping after class today. i was at the promenade mall with cathy until 8:30pm. class finished at 4:15pm. ;p LOVE IT!

seriously, i actually don't shop very often. the last time i went hardcore shopping was in march, when i freaked out about the advent of summer, and decided i needed new work clothing. since then, i have done pretty well.

but then school started. and then i freaked out about buying "professional attire." but hey, i worked super long hours all summer, just so i could buy nice clothes for school/work. totally worth it. plus i did alot of school work today, so of course i felt the need to reward myself with the prettiest skirt from costa blanca! hahaha.

ames is tivoing grey's tomorrow night! i love that i can get the best of both worlds. tso with michelle, and then straight home for a straight hour of grey's! definitely lots to talk about after tomorrow.

Down to the earth I fell,
With dripping wings. Heavy things won't fly.
And the sky might catch on fire.
And burn the axis of the world, that's why
I prefer a sunless sky, to the glittering and
stinging in my eyes.

Oh I feel so light.
This is all I want to feel tonight.
Oh I feel so light.
Tonight and the rest of my life.

Gleaming in the dark sea,
I'm as light as air
Floating there breathlessly.
When the dream dissolves I open up my eyes,
I realize that everything is shoreless sea.
Weightlessness is passing over me.

Nina Gordon - Tonight and the rest of my life

i love love LOVE rain. especially when it's a nice warm sprinkly rain. the type of rain that when it falls on your head, it makes a tickly sensation that causes you to laugh out loud.

i walked home in the rain.

rain is like heaven opening up and expressing it's sadness, the sadness that i cannot express myself.

mom was cleaning out the cedar closet when i got home. she was pulling all of grandma's trunks out and taking out all the stuff in them. our basement hallway looked like a tornado had run through it's course. my aunt and uncle are now here going through her stuff, and just the smell of the cedar reminds me of my grandma. it's hard because most of the time, i am ok. life goes on. but once in a while, something will trigger bittersweet memories (such as the smell of the cedar, or an old picture of her) and then for tinest moment, i am swept away by a wave of sadness. it's like when i watch a movie (like snow cake), and the emotions of the movie are just so incredible that i find myself wiping the tears from my eyes.

i am such a sap. i love movies that make me cry. it reassures me that i AM human, and that i DO have emotions. (contrary to popular belief...)

in other lighter and happier news:
happy happy birthday fayewood! we had an amazing time saturday night. yuk yuk's could have been better, but hey, at least we had ron, and HE was funny without making stupid perverted guy jokes. tanaka and alanna, you guys missed out on a good time! we stopped off at steve and jacob's condo-warming party which was conveniently 2 mins away from yuk yuk's and GOT THE PARTE STARTED!!! pictures from that night will be posted soon.

this weekend was phenomenal. i ran into ray and his girlfriend, pauline, while i was volunteering at the film fest at ryerson. it's like university flashbacks or something because i had run into ian friday night when i was at the rom with liz. sometimes i wonder that the world isn't smaller. it's kind of cool to know that toronto is my new york, and i am almost literally, carrie.

yay, grey's anatomy is back thursday! very super excited.

this one here had the bright idea of rollerblading to school yesterday morning. here's the kicker: i don't know how to rollerblade.

yes, i know, it was pure genius. i walked up the hill past dufferin because i knew i would die if i didn't. i strapped on the blades, and then proceeded towards campus with my backpack (which of course would not help with balance whatsoever.) Needless to say, as karina called it "an accident waiting to happen." i think i provided the most amusement to commuters as i fell twice in the middle of some intersections. quite mortifying i must say, but hey, we're talking to a trooper here. i did it, i made it to school all in one piece, although my aching body this morning begs to differ.

i think i need to learn how to stop for intersections.

i *heart* my sister so much right now. i was just reading up on some friend's and cousin's lives and she surprised me with this. it also makes me suspicious...hahaha

thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! really, i'd throw a huge party but it would just be too much work and too many people who don't really know each other, and i much rather see everyone individually to make each time unique. i know, cheesy but so true.

yesterday i spent most of the day with my family. we went to the st. lawrence market place to look at the vendors and wait for my sister to get off work so we could visit the distillery district. i have never been to the distillery district before. it's a small compound that houses restaurants, gallerys and balzacs. although it was pouring outside, we geared up in rainwear and umbrellas and had a really good time. the original plan was to go to ontario place afterwards to see the lantern festival of lights, but due to the rain, we decided that we will go tomorrow.

so instead, i went out with faye, karina, and matthew to the silver dollar where we met up with christie and her friend raphael to see another of her friends (who i met at alicia and christie's hot tub party friday night) play in a band called "key witness." jordan, jacob and aron were nice enough to join us there as well, but we didn't stay too long. it was more to hang out and hear the band. then because i am a party pooper (as well as older now) we all went home. ahaha. but it is also partly because i had to go to see too of my little kids this morning. ahhh, how i love my kids!

since friday was my last day at work *tear* i had a little going back to school party at demetres with my work buddies. the service was not stellar, but hey, i got my belgium waffle with ice cream! and yes, so i DID mention a hot tub parte. alicia and her condo roommate christie were incredible hostesses, what with planning how to get the alcohol up to the roof without getting in trouble, and then finding suitable hot tub wear for the boys who did not bring anything for the hot tub. i have to admit that sometimes it is intimidating to walk around in a bikini, but we did it, and no one got hurt! ;p

i saved the best part for last.

i just got home from having malaysian food with sange, christian, michelle and matthew. the food was amazing. i love roti! and i love that roti isn't just a part of indian food (although it's made a little differently.) boy were we glad we went to dinner early. the line ups outside was ginormous when we left. it rivaled our tummys! anyway, after we dropped off the kids, matt gave me my birthday present in the car and i played 1000 questions all the way home. there was absolutely no way i would have EVER guessed my present. i do not know why i even tried!

it is a prickly black cat bank. yes it is.

i could not stop laughing with horror as i opened it. hahaha. yes, it was quite a horrible laughter! haha. but i love it. there is no place for it in my room, but i have found the most wonderful home for it.

and that was the best present ever. well, after the sleeping beauty tickets from michelle, and the grey's anatomy cd from my sister.

let the birthday celebrating begin!

first off, it seems that facebook has been telling everyone that my birthday was yesterday. it was not. my birthday is tomorrow. but thanks for the early wishes!

there was a happy abbeyite gathering at marche last night. taline is newly engaged and so she, anna p, and lilian sat on one side of the table while the rest of us single and unengaged girls (me, faye, and karina) sat on the other side. ha. segregation at it's best! so we talked about weddings, and fiances and dresses and lives, and work and everything and had a great old time reminicing about highschool. we wondered how mr. desilets and ms. villano (aka, mrs. desilets) are doing and how other abbeyites are faring. since marche is market style food, it felt like we were in highschool all over again because we were getting our food and sitting at those long table-like benches.

in the end, we decided that since faye's birthday is coming up in 2 weeks time, that we are definitely going to do another outting, perhaps clubbing. ha. more like devil's martini. ;p

here we go...another chapter in my life is about to close.

as most people know, i have been teaching piano for as long as i can remember. i think i started in gr. oac in highschool. from a teeny bopper with no idea what i was doing, to a full-fledged, confident and fun teacher, i've come quite a way. ideally, i'd love to continue teaching part time in the future. but as of now, there is no way to foresee what is to come, so in order for my students (who i love love LOVE) to get the best of piano, i have decided to stop teaching.

*gasp*

i have absolutely no idea how i will be able to handle the void of teaching!!!! i mean, yes, i've had days when i was frustrated and disappointed, but then there are always the many other days when i am overcome with proudness for what they have accomplished. it's every teacher's desire for their kids to succeed, and i am no different.

last night i almost started crying when two sisters gave me a homemade card that said:

To Christina =)

You have been a wonderful, understanding, kind and considerate piano teacher. The list just goes on and on.

Whenever there was something we were not sure of, or something that was new, you explained in ways that we would understand 100%!

We will miss you soooooooo much!! We will never find a teacher like you!

We wish you the best in the future.

Sincerely,

N & M

*tear* I'm going to miss my tiny tykes!

each week brings something new and different, you just don't know what to expect.

after a relatively sombre weekend before, this weekend was social weekend. we kick started by celebrating amelia's birthday at a CHINESE RESTAURANT (anyone who knows my sister would know that she isn't the biggest fan of chinese food) but we actually had really delicious steamed fish and other dishes.

after we had sufficiently gorged ourselves on good food, i went home and went straight to sleep. ha! i know i'm older now, but not THAT old! actually, i was supposed to go to christian's birthday party (where, incidentally i heard he got super piss ass drunk...) but due to an ear infection (that came out of no where) i decided to see if i put rubbing alcohol on it and went to sleep it might get better. tanaka's plane came in from acapulco at 11:45pm that evening and matt and i went to make sure she got home alive. we decided that it would be fun to randomly go to the airport and wave at people, pretending to wait for someone! :S

so in the end, i didn't end up getting home until 2:30am AND i had work at 9am that morning. see? taking a nap was a good idea afterall!

other highlights of this fun-filled weekend included:

- really surprising jordan for his surprise welcome home party. HE thought jake and i were just taking him out for the evening to catch up and hang out. but WE knew better. we spent a good hour at second cup talking about his trip, and then as a sneaky side, i got them to take me to walmart where harry potter did a good job wasting time, as did looking at cosmetics and checking our blood pressures! then we went to dave and busters to "pick up jake's car keys from chad." i have no idea if the car keys were picked up, but what ensued was a beautiful catered dinner on 3 pool tables with 40 of jordan's friends and family. quite a successful operation if i say so myself.

sunday was quite the smcsu reunion. in the evening, liz and i went to meet up with rita at future's bakery at bloor and brunswick. manny dropped by for a bit, as did billy dunn, and lily wong also accidently came upon on our merry group when she walked in with some friends. it was really nice to see rita again (who was the main reason we met up.) liz i had met up on thursday when we went to see don giovanni with jacob.

so there's a little fun at the end of august. more to come!

Berceuse
Quelqu'un pleure dans le silence
morne des nuits d'avril;
Quelqu'un pleure la somnolence
Longue de son exil.
Quelqu'un pleure sa douleur.
Et c'est mon coeur...

- Emile Nelligan
for grandma

good morning fellow readers.

i am currently sitting in our pretty posh Wyndham Chicago hotel room that is literally 30 seconds away from the famous michigan avenue (magnificant mile.) i spent the last two days a lollapalooza watching all these bands from grant park, an awesome experience, but alas, this has also resulted in a VERY crispy girl! mom and dad toured the city on a double decker bus and checked out the water tower while ames and i suntanned at the festival.

friday night after watching stars, we all met up together for dinner at the hotel luxe cafe. afterwards, ames went to watch sleater-kinney and some of death cab for cutie while i went with mom and dad to the art institute of chicago for some FREE impressionist viewings. the museum is humongous (like going to the louvre in paris) but all i really cared about (and had the time for) were the paintings of renoir, degas, picasso, and joan miro. i was pretty disappointed with the musuem's collection of salvador dali. but it was still pretty fun. also saturday between feist and kill hannah, ames and i caught a free trolley ride around the city and went to see the adler planetarium and the shedd aquarium. it's a good thing we weren't planning on going in, the line were ginormous! we just took in the beautiful city.

i have to comment on the architecture of this city. as soon as we drove in thursday afternoon, i had this feeling like i'd seen this place before. i wonder if batman's gotham city was based on the city of chicago. the transit runs above ground like in the movie. the buildings run between modern architecture (such as the corn on the cob condo buildings) and older gothic buildings like the tribune tower. there's also a lot of other buildings that i don't know the names to but from grant park you get an awesome view.

so far, the most fun i've had are the free stuff. the streets of chicago are teaming with really neat sounds and sights especially when walking past millenium park (the cloudgate.) ames' is particularly impressed with the walkby chess games that are set up on the side of the street. anyone can just stop by and play a game with the next person, and you see all types of people, from business men to little children who are just standing on the street playing chess. also on the side of the grass, there's a guy who has a couple of muppet-like puppets that are attached like marionnettes. he plays jazz music and then with his puppets have them dance around. also, when dad and i were waiting for ames after the art institute, two guys set up several pails on the sidewalk in front of the museum at closing time and starting banging on them with their drum sticks. it was quite a phenomenal experience just to sit infront of the museum steps and listen to these guys bop away.

we're heading onto a lunch cruise off of navy pier in an hour so we'll check out the scenery there as well. it's supposed to rain today and this makes me nervous because we're getting a boat. i'm debating whether i should take a gravol or not before. i'm leaning towards taking the gravol...