WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!?!?!?!?

it's new years eve for cryin' outloud! this holiday has just been a huge blurr...i can't even separate each day anymore...everyone i talk to on the phone asks me the same question..."whatcha doin' for new years?" and to every single person i tell them..."nothing"

that's right. it's a tradition...i always stay at home...sometimes i stay up and watch the ball drop on tv, but most of the time i go to sleep and then...whoa...it's jan 1st. and this year is no exception...

i hate it when i'm not working...it's very very boring, and then i find myself doing homework and that's just peachy...i really really dislike sitting at home doing nothing, UGH! well, after tomorrow i will find myself back into shipshape...(i hope) especially since i've just been eating like a pig and NOT working out. what with everything that's going on, i just want to crawl into bed and sleep...which is what i've done all day, so i have no idea how i'll be sleeping tonite...

oh wow...new years resolution...that's unheard of...i don't really make resolutions because they are never kept...why make a NEW YEARS resolution? when you can make a resolution for anytime...why push it back to one single day? i just thought i'd apologize if i'm wreaking anyone's fun...i'm feeling very cynical right now. karina got a new piercing at the side of her mouth and i was so jealous that now i want another piercing too! but where? i'm seriously looking into the tragus...but my parents will flip...this won't be as easy to hide as the other one...and plus this includes a whole ton of cartilage. my other option is to dye the back panel of my hair like avril lavigne's in her music video i'm with you and that would be the better option. either way...something will prolly be done when i see karina thursday....

i'm peeved at a certain person, and i didn't exactly treat them very nicely on the phone today...i felt so bad afterwards that i ate a quarter of a tub full of chocolate ice cream...just for the record...i didn't feel that great afterwards...but that person will never know because they are stupid...and i'm even more dumb for being blind towards their actions and being so nice and understanding when everyone around me can see how badly i'm being treated and TRY to tell me, but nono...i won't listen...i think deep down i've known what was going on, but i tried to make excuses for everything and now, I SEE. so all i have to do now, is give them their present (i did after all buy this present thinking OF THEM, so might as well) and...not see them as often...man oh man...that might as well be a new years resolution...

will someone please make the time to see "chicago" with me? i really want to see it...but it seems that everyone is busy...

i am going to go INSANE. mom's been running around all day like a chicken with it's head cut off...she's on the verge of giving me a heart attack...she just took a tumble down the stairs trying to lug up a heavy chair from the dining room to grandma's room. earlier, she caused a HUGE commotion over grandma ringing a bell in her room, and before grandma was discharged from the hospital, she'd been calling the whole entire day to ask over and over again one question..."when's amelia going to work?"

it's boring at home. the phone's been ringing off the hook all day, but few are for me! boo!

today will go down in tanaka's books..."i went to christina miao's house today..." hahaha...man...we just kill each other...we can just FEEL it....soon, soon...ALL OF US will be in some sort of relationship and then we'll all be acting weird..."hey...this is so and so" hahahahaaaa! hmm...who will it be?!?!? socrates?!?!?! cha?!?!?! witkos?!?!?! man...we're waiting for the day!

this has been a very interesting christmas break...way too many things have been happening and i'm always soooo tired...so i'll just sleep it ALL off...heh heh...with ups and downs, this will go down in classic history!

"You are in my heart
I can feel you're near
And I lose my mind
While behind the wheel
And I lose control
I can only breathe your name
I can only breathe your name"

sixpencenonethericher

yup, uh huh...i'm in love again...

so i've got some pics from queens...they are posted here

went to see sandra bullock and hugh grant's movie two weeks notice with tanaka, karina and maija...not bad considering you have to check your brain out at the movie door, but we got thru it...and even had a fun filled evening of eating and joking at spring rolls on yonge...the girls are dying...

i dunno...i'm sooooo much more exhausted then i've EVER been...ppl at work keep asking me to stay, but no way...it's tooo stressful, i have to have a social life...i feel so trapped in a cage...always looking outside...i just wanna have fun!

this is NOT good...everyone is getting sick, first daddy, now grandma's sick...we were eating dinner at home (i know...when's the last time i've had a meal at home?!?!?!) and grandma ate like 2 bites of food and then left cuz she didn't feel well...and then threw up in the bathroom...that is NOT good...and i feel soooo bad...like, i should be there for her when she's ill, and i haven't even seen her in a week! i didn't even KNOW she was sick...and now i feel soooo guilty...

spoke to lisa on the phone today, we were trying to get communications into some sort of order...we've mapped out a decent plan, now we must set it in motion and start cracking...did i mention that winterfest was gonna be awesome this year? WINTERFEST'S GONNA BE AWESOME THIS YEAR! and i can't wait till i get a t-shirt! it really DOES make a difference between a shirt or not...i was not happy about having a makeshift marshall shirt this year...felt like a fraud...but no more...NO MORE! i'm getting a shirt if i have to kill for it!

went to boss monica's for dinner today. her house is HUMONGOUS...and she and her husband sam are like these HUGE decorating fans...it's like walking into an art page....or one of those show homes...except for the fact that they live there...

my feet are officially DEAD. i mean....DEAD...like....FISHDEAD...like....yeh....dead.

oh. and i'm tired and dad's sick, so i'm gonna hit the sack.

is life not full of shits and giggles?

first of all, i don't care how i do on my exam anymore, i'm studied out...i mean, sure i'm at kelly right now but that doesn't mean i'm studying?!?!?! i will, but to be honest i don't need to be here. i had coffee with flo this morning...let's just say we got a whole shitload of stuff cleared up...whatever happens now will be all pretty interesting. i haven't decided if this was a good thing or a bad thing. i'll figure it out when stuff happens.

nicola's engaged! i'm soo excited for her! lanthia told me last night just as i was going to log off, and then i was excited for the rest of the nite, and now that i think about it, i'm STILL excited!!! what a good opportunity to visit sydney, australia next year! hahahahaaa! and to imagine, she's only 22 years old! that's TWO WHOLE YEARS older than me...WOW!

there's too many things going on in my life for me to concentrate...damn botany to hell! it's driving me insane!!!! but on a good note, at this time tomorrow, i will be officially done my exams and i will be sooooooo happy!!!!

argh! my feet are killing me!

alrighty then...i'm sitting at kelly library (see? i told you this was my home!) and guess who i'm with?!?!? BERNADETTE!
that's right....WOW! i haven't seen her in the LONGEST TIME! like last year! and even when we did, it was by complete chance randomness...on the street...like..."hi!" "hey!" "how's it going?"...less then a min kinda seeing...and it's soooo good to see you!!! eeeee! that was my happy happy screech! which i did for a bit on the street...that's ok...it's dark and late tonite, so nobody really cares about two psycho girls screeching on the street! hahahahaaa! and bernie...your hair! it's soooo short!!!! but it's all good cuz your hair grows sooooo fast!

i saw ames' friend stephanie today, she said hi to me and i looked at her like a fool...how am i supposed to remember this girl that i met once during the summer?!?!?! that's right...i didn't...but it's all good...she works at holt renfrew as the gift wrapping girl! and i saw dad's friend, pete today...he was looking for some jeans for his daughter jennifer...and i ran into him, and i'm like "bernie's girl?" (not bernie as the aforementioned bernie) and then he remembered me...and then i saw anne from last year chem...and then teresa! whoo hoo!

so now i'm gonna finish this blog so that i can go upstairs to study!

this is bad...i'm sitting at a kelly computer on the second floor blogging because i almost fell asleep studying botany. the good thing is that i finished the chapter i was reading so i decided now is a good time to take a break. after all, i've been at this stinkin' library since 11am because i georges went home today and he wanted me to visit before he left...which meant that i was up at 8am this morning...whatever...on the bright side, i'm up early to study...yay?

so georges is gone...i'll try not to cry too much...

paul kim came over to kelly at almost 1pm to give me back my lab 5 notes, so i waited for him outside of the library, and who do i see...but ken (from alumni)...who's this big dude that's pretty scary...but in all actuality is really nice...and he stopped by to chat with me...which is all fine and dandy except for this small factor...where i notice this SPIDER crawling up his chin (he has a beard) and then it fell off onto hi shirt...and i didn't have the guts to tell him...so i just WATCHED...oops...hahaha

and what's up with everyone thinking that there's something going on with me and paul? he's just my LAB PARTNER...that's it...and we were meeting up so he could give me back my notes! i asked christian for his number after lecture one day so that i could call him to arrange the mtg (b/c paul is never in class) and chris gave me a funny look and said paul had asked for my number as well...and even after i explained, he still gave me a weird look...damn you all! believe what you will...boo ya

my goal today is to finish reading 3 more chapters before i go home...right...that's because my shift was cancelled...so now i have more time to study...which is good...except for the fact that i want to sleep! that's not good....

"joy to the world
and the boys and girls,
joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea...
joy to you and me"

that's the song that's been running thru my head the whole day...since i was in the GAP store at bayview village...hahahaha....what a fun song!

i went shopping with mom at the fore mentioned bayview village...wow that place is expensive! all i could do was window shop. if there's anything i like...well? what can you do? i saw the most perfect thing for kirsten! a HUGE key ring with like 20 places for her 50 million keys...but then...it was $36...and i don't have that kinda money to throw around...sorry girl!

i don't know why...but i always get soooo tired during exam time. i remember in the summer i used to take so many cat naps instead of studying...but i got thru it. so hopefully i'll be fine. tomorrow will be a LONG day at the library...yay kelly!

to my abbey girls: did you get the abbey unites email? michelle lee has been sending out emails to us all, in hopes that we'll all make time for a get-together dec 27th at marche...i think we'll go! it'll be fun times! i'm just wondering if we should just rent out the place for the nite, there's so many of us! hahahahaaa!

worked today in the morning for 4 hrs...and spent the rest of the day at kelly library...however, i didn't feel very productive at all...maybe cuz i fell asleep a couple of times in my cubicle...hmmm...maybe that's it....

i think i studied a total of 8 pages...and mapped out what i need to study...meh...wait till next wk...when i need to hardcore study...this is what i'm debating...study now...or later....hmmmm....sooo difficult

WINTERFEST is gonna be AWESOME this year...so that's why i'm plugging it now...there's gonna be sooo many activities! and we're doing it with VIC, UC AND TRIN...so it'll be tons of fun...not like last year...the hell was that?!?!?! we're gonna go skiing up at blue mountain...and have snowball/ice cream ball fights (that's if there's no snow) and build snowmen...and go tobagganing at riverdale...and have hockey games....and have a GREAT time...i'm soooo excited!

hey guys...i know i know...and i'm really really sorry that i haven't blogged in awhile...i've been a very busy busy girl.

what's that? november 23rd? whoa it's been awhile.

i went to lunch with georges today. yay. and yeh...what's up with that? why did you eat before? ugh...i really don't know what goes on inside boys heads...really...you couldn't wait an HOUR before i got off work?!?!?! blah. but whatever, we had a good lunch cuz HE paid for it! hahaha! it's about time, especially all the other times i paid! and then georges ordered sake wine, and i said i was fine with that except that i forgot that i really don't like sake wine...oops...my bad...

i can't believe i actually have time to blog...wow...it's sooo weird, i keep thinking that i really shouldn't be blogging, and must be doing something else...but nah...i have PLENTY of time to study before my ONLY EXAM on dec 18! but the last 2 wks have been full of busyness...including writing a really intense paper for my poli sci class which i really really hope i did well on cuz i spent soooooo much time because i really don't know much about philosophy and i often spend more time on this class then in my other classes, which is really in a sense, retarded because poli sci is my elective and everything else is for my major and minors...man...

and yeh...i've been studying for my ant test and stuff...and guess what?!?!?! i'm kicking skeletal ass like crazy! it's sooo much fun! so now that i'm off on a high, i'm gonna be so psyched about kicking some plant roots!!! heh heh! kelly library is my first home, and the place where i go to sleep at nite is my second home. and i'm not the only one with so much work to do...marko's been crazy busy studying for his engineer exams...and georges been going nuts with his soc and calc tests...plus his computers assignment and philosophy paper...and he has an exam tomorrow that he hasn't even begun studying for...oh no...he's been out getting a crazy short haircut (which i was there for) and man is it short! as a certain person on his floor said "it looks like he'd been in a fight with a weed wacker and lost badly" ...ahahahahaaaaaa! really...it's not that bad...

oh man...went to "rowers" last nite for our SMCSU social...and it was soooo much fun! almost everyone came and went sometime in the evening...we had like 5 tables put together and chowed on an unspecified amount of wings and fries and nachos...wongie loved the little presents that i'd been buying for her throughout the week (cuz i was her kk)...i bought her the advent calendar chocolates for monday, a slinky for tuesday, mexican jumping beans for wednesday, a rita bender for thursday, and because i wasn't downtown friday, i included a cute little beaded bracelet in thursday's present as well! and then i bought her the norah jones cd that she absolutely loved!
my kk was awesome too! thanks to melissa for buying me that sunshine carebear! i love it sooo much! i was so shocked and happy when i got it! who knew that someone actually reads those smcsu commission bios?!?!?! all i had for favorite cartoon as a kid was: "carebear countdown stare!" and then i get the most adorable little stuffed bear....of course i also got a bottle of baileys as well...heehee...someone's gonna have some good nites with coffee...

went to a basketball game to watch the Raptors play the Sixers at the ACC the 24th of november...and we lost horribly...that was quite disgusting to watch...i was throughly disgusted with their playing skills...next to allan iverson they looked like robots gone horribly wrong...WHATEVER...i had a good time with the guys and lauren tho...pat wouldn't stop blowing lauren's big horn...and he had some blue pom poms stuck in the back of his hat...so it looked like he had blue hair!

hmm...what else? uh...smcsu's been through some rough times...but everything is in the process of being sorted out...to the expense of some really early early mtgs during the busiest times of our lives...and jacob had a sale on underwear...5 pairs for $12!!! lisa and i went...and paul and ray came along...hahahahaa....we had to drag paul...and poor ray just had really bad timing and we ran into him while we were on our way...and dragged him too! but good times!

so...i'm so tired now...what with all my time spent on studying at the library, and working, and doing stuff for smcsu, and spending time with my boys...that's all for now...maybe i'll blog later if i think of some more exciting things that's happened.

you know it's gotten pretty bad when i don't post in color or lyrics anymore...

my botany textbook is doing a hell of a lota good sitting in my locker at the AC...when i have a lab monday afternoon...shit
oh well...i guess i'll just be studying anthro this weekend. FINE. i'm gonna kick some skeletal butt anyway...poli sci paper? oh no...that won't be touched till wednesday...luckily i got an extension on that paper...otherwise i'd sit down and cry.

the house dinner for the sorbora rez guys was fun! i know i know...THEY don't make a big deal about it...after all, for them it's just a bunch of guys getting together for house photos and eating food that could possibly be better then what they usually eat in the canada room...but REALLY...i'm just a girl that wanted to dress up and look pretty! after all, the rez formal didn't happen this year, so my outfit was sitting in the closet just BEGGING to be worn...and what better then to this little shindig with marko? ;p

my camera is officially retarded...i've been having issues with it since queens. first it died on me in the middle of us getting drunk at charysse's house...cuz the battery died...fine...i go home and put in a fresh new battery...but oh no...it doesn't end there...it decides that the camera is EMPTY...empty?!?!?! it's NOT! i still have a full 10 pics left to take...and it won't take pictures! so i couldn't take any pics from the dinner...boo...and now there's a game tomorrow that i want to take pics at...but oh no...i can't...cuz my camera's being stupid...ARGH!

ames has gone to kate's cuz it's her b-day...come to think about it...it's rob's b-day today! HAPPY B-DAY ROBERT! so i only found out about this on thursday cuz i ran into adele and she told me...hahaha...i gotta call him! mom and dad have gone to a bridge party...this is perfect timing for me to go out for coffee with lisa..but oh wait...i don't drink coffee or tea anymore...damn stupid bet...i should have made it 3 wks or something...what do you drink in cold weather like this other then tea or coffee?!?!?! that's right....NOTHING...man...that sucks majorly.

so karina, faye and i have decided that we're gonna help tanaka write a book on how to drive a broken down car the size of a boat:
- if the key breaks in the ignition, use a screwdriver that you keep in the glove compartment to turn on/off the car
- if the sideview mirror is broken on the passenger side, get your friend to stick her head out the window and give instructions
- if the back, right axle wheel is broken, just make wide wide turns...and don't do back ups
- if the windshield has two humongous cracks like an "X", just let it be
episodes in tanaka's car! ;p

queen's was amazing...it was good times the whole weekend...except for some pretty shameful episodes...but that's all part of the fun of being away and chilling with friends...in their HOUSES! we're totally doing a kris kringle this year...and i don't care who it is...but i want the woodstock underwear collection from "three" AND the lucy liu glasses from "willy"

eeeeeeeee! i'm soo excited! tomorrow at this time, i'll be at QUEENS! chillaxing with faye, tanaka and possibly charysse! we'll be completely updating each other's lives and pigging out on god knows what! the who, what, where, when and hows will be discussed to the bare minimum and everything will be good! ahhhhh! good times!

so i have these mini bruises on my arms and hands cuz i had my ass whooped in the ticklefest with ray and georges...no fair! two guys and one little girl! and then an awesome dinner at exotic tandoori (i know...sounds like a strip club) with the guys...INDIAN FOOD! nice! i'm not a big fan of spicy food tho...whatever

did i mention that i'm really excited about tomorrow? hahahahahaaaa!

i feel like i'm wearing one of those multi-faced masks...
the happy mask is used to impress ppl, to keep up an image of a happy bubbly girl who has no worries and is perpetually care free...
the sad mask (otherwise known as the what's-on-your-mind mask) is usually most identifiable through my closest friends and only they have the privilege to knowing what's wrong...oh wait...i have no problems...
the angry mask is only shown at home...or if something is really REALLY bothering me...otherwise, yeh...home...ames can vouch for that...
the crying mask is NEVER shown...i have this problem where i don't really express what i'm feeling...especially by crying...i find it very disadvantageous...as it's a sign of weakness...the only ppl who've seen me cry (off the top of my head) are probably the ppl that had to help me out last year in march...but other then that...don't speak of this to me

so mom's pissed me off majorly today...oops...did i say just today? i meant this whole week...she's been on my case about EVERYTHING...and i really don't need this...not now...too bad she's mom...i can't get mad at her...it's just not happening...

other then that...i had a pretty good day. had breakfast at the mike cubes (mike jaques, mike allemano, and mike skarz) apartment with lisa and flo this morning...skarz made an awesome meal of omlettes, sausages and bagels...with JUICE! i've made a bet with lisa (with flo and skarz as witnesses) that i can DEFINITELY go an entire month of no coffee or tea...and i don't care what anyone thinks...but i'm not losing this bet because i'm NOT addicted to coffee...NO...don't even say it OR think it!

i think i gave georges the cold...he wasn't feeling too hot today...but he was a trooper and went off to calc class so that afterwards we had lunch (soup) at jakas and then napped for an hour afterwards...went shopping for vitamin c (to stop scurvy!) and other edible food for georges fridge which consists of water and vodka (nice diet, eh?) and then went back after a grueling poli sci lecture...for a movie nite of "something about mary" most of the guys. good times!

oh did i mention that my mom thinks i don't study? for her information...i do...i studied in mike^3's solarium for an hour and a half, reading aristotle's POLITICS and such...today is my "fun day!" so don't bother me! ;p

what's going on?!?!? is babipiggie going to cardinal carter? wow! that's COOL! girl, you gotta send me an email or something to update me on what's going on! oops! i guess that's what the blogger's for! ahahahahaaaa!

so, i have a huge announcement to make ppl....I'M SOOOOO SCREWED FOR MY MIDTERM TOMORROW!
that's all...yup...unless i actually get off my ass and actually open the book. i think i'll have a muffin...so i thought i lost one of my new square earrings i bought on thursday...but i DIDN'T! yay!

i sit and muse with myself alot, and i would periodically have bursts of laughter or sobbing...prolly cuz i'm thinking of my soap operatic life...the complicated day-to-day basis of trying to solve a difficult algorithm that seems to be in stalemate. there is much unspoken tension within my large group of friends, it's quite difficult to watch from the sidelines as we're all so close to each other...if something hurts one of us, it reciprocates and hurts ALL OF US. in a sense, this may be good, as it shows how tight and close a group we are...in another, it might be holding us back from better things...better to take it as it comes.

so my cough doesn't seem to be getting any better...it's continuous hacking and wheezing...and nose blowing and grossness...ugh...i suppose it doesn't help that i don't seem to be sleeping anymore, or that i'm out all the time...drinking coffee when i should be sleeping! ;p my kids weren't helpful at all...no one seems to bother practicing anymore, and then they wonder why i won't give them new pieces to practice on, or their parents would come and bother me about why i'm not sending them into an exam or something! hello?!?!?! i'm a piano TEACHER....not a piano PRACTICER! i'm there to teach new things, not to do their homework for them...and all this while i can't speak...it's great...it got to the point where steve noticed that i was laughing at his jokes...so he KNEW i was feeling crudy...ahahaaa...got my second wind last nite after coffee with lis...and then i finally puttered out at 2am with my bro...he always calms me down and makes me feel better...and to a certain degree...puts me to sleep! j/j!

i've got some pics of me, ray and mu from halloween...courtesy of georges...thanx man...they're on my website...YOU go find it...i'm too lazy to make a link to that page...mwahahahahahaaaaa...

so the OUR LADY PEACE concert was WICKED last nite! it totally rocks for a first time concert goer, like me...raine has the most AMAZING voice! it's sooooo pretty! even when he speaks, it's so musical and seductive...wow...i'm in love with his voice! fun times! see ames' blog for a more detailed description of the nite's events...i just had alot of fun with faye! i haven't seen her in THE LONGEST TIME! not since her birthday in september! i almost didn't recognize faye...your hair's grown! wow!

so i pigged out on fries and a veggie pizza slice...and...COFFEE!!!

did i not say us gogo girls would rule the nite? that's right, thank you very much...i do believe we had THE BEST costumes there...

too many playboy bunnies...wayyyy overrated...and alot of guys who didn't have the money to buy costumes so wrapped themselves up in toilet paper! a lot of monks, deans in army fatigues...looked sooo cute! like a boy scout! , mike as the pimp daddy! and lotsa girls as cheerleaders and school girls! and it was really great seeing mike kwadrans and megan st. john, ppl that graduated last year! i heard al was there with his girlfriend! i'd liked to have seen him again!

the poor bus driver! i feel bad for the guy...so he was driving the first bus with many of us eagerly waiting to get to the party...and made a right turn that wasn't wide enuf...and side scrapped a cab, who's ass was sticking out of the intersection...and then he started freaking out and apologizing and everything...but everyone was totally cool about it...we just waited for another bus to pick us up and off we go again!

all in all...a very successful and entertaining nite! i'd especially like to thank kirsten for making our dresses and the other girls for making US work! those boys had no chance! ahahahaaaa!

wow! and i haven't blogged in a pretty long time...

so my nose is stuffed up, yet it's like a faucet that isn't turned off properly and keeps on dripping...and it's driving me INSANE! i just want to chop off my nose, turn it upside down, stick it UNDER the sink tap, and CLEAN IT! REALLY!!! ugh....it's ALMOST as bad as when i get one of those headaches where i want to cut my head off, stick it in a plastic bag...and throw it in the dumpster....

dress episode: (soap #928365)
so kirsten's sewing my halloween costume, and it's quite form fitting...i now know that my bustline is CLEARLY larger then my waistline..*whew!* and unfortunately, the way my costume is made, i must put the whole thing over my head...and it includes going PAST the waist...and that's where we get ME....stuck with my arms waving around in the air...oh wait...did i say waving? that's wrong...i was just....stuck...i couldn't even move my arms if i wanted to...and then i had to get it off...but did i mention? it was STUCK...so kirsten had to pull it off my head...fortunately she lives in a girl's rez and is quite used to seeing ppl half-naked...

yes...i DID see georges pink heart boxers...quite by accident...but COME ON! didn't you look soooo cute?!?!?!? ;p *giggles*

and yes...we did have fun at dim sum...it was quite scary, considering he was completely relying on ME to converse in cantonese/mandarin with the serving cart ppl...but luckily, he eats frogs legs! ahahahaha!

note to self:
so the next time you're home alone with grandma, and she starts SHAKING like a leaf...go open a can of coke (not DIET coke) and give her some to drink...she's most likely not got enuf sugar in her system...and while i'm doing that...DON'T FREAK!

not that i did or anything...but it's quite traumatizing to see grandma shaking like her time has come or something...luckily mom and dad were home too...tho we didn't know what to do till aunty anne came over and made everything all better!

still...to a certain degree, this is quite a wake-up call...the fact that i LIVE with my grandmother yet i don't seem to see her, EVER. not that i've been doing that on purpose, i haven't...but i'm outta the house by 7am (or earlier) and by the time i come home at nite (10ish pm) she's in her room watching her chinese soaps or in bed...but the point is, she's not exactly a spring chicken anymore, and she won't be around forever, so i must make the most of the time i have left with her.